Victim Impact Statement for David

I am sorry I can’t be in court to read this myself, but I am 28 weeks pregnant and traveling is hard for me right now.

David was my youngest brother. I had three younger brothers. He was the family clown. Always late, you were just about to give up on him and he would show up with a smile as if he had no idea he was late. He was often quiet, but would mumble something clever under his breath to make all of us laugh. At family events now, we can’t help but stare at the door still wondering when he is going to show up. Some how we just can’t come to terms with his death.

I haven’t slept well since David was killed. I lie awake, thinking about him lying in the street. I vacillate between deep sorrow and anger at night. I wonder what his final thoughts were. I wonder if he realized it was my mom’s birthday or if he knew he was dying. I wonder if he knew the person who hit him left him there to die. I truly hope he did not. I think that would have really hurt my brother, because he could not have done anything like that.

I have gone to both group and individual to try and come to terms with this, but it hasn’t helped much. Watching my mom grieve for David has hit me especially hard, because I now have a young son of my own named Wyatt. I find I have become fixated on something happening to him. I am very nervous being with him in cars and crossing the street with him. I think far too much about him dying. I already had issues with my son’s mortality because he was born prematurely and has had some health issues. I thought we were just moving past that, and then David was killed. Now the death of everyone I love feels like a very real possibility.

I also want to speak for my son, who is only 19 months old. Wyatt will never know his uncle David. I am lucky to even have a picture of the two of them together. David will never teach Wyatt how to fish, or fix a bike, or ride a moped. He will never teach his nephew how to make pasta or stuff sausages. He will never teach Wyatt how to paint or draw or make pottery. They will never sit down and watch the together or any of the other crazy shows my brother watched. My son will never watch some strange, age-inappropriate movie with his uncle that I will regret him watching. My niece and nephew will never have those things, either.

My brother David never even got to meet his nephew David, named in his honor, a few months after his death. I am currently pregnant, and I feel pain every time I think how this child will not know his uncle David. He will never know how special and wonderful his uncle was. How kind. How funny.

My mother will never have another birthday, for the rest of her life, that does not sharply remind her of the loss of her child. February 8th is now a day for celebrating life and death. My family will never be the same again. Something will always be missing. I feel it so much when I am with my brothers, always waiting for David to show up.