Last peri visit at 20w5d

I saw the perinatalogist last Wednesday. This was the first time I saw him after the dx of Single Umbilical Artery (SUA). I wish he was a little more comforting. He wants me to continue to come back every three weeks so he can monitor us more closely. He performed an ultrasound and told me that the umbilical cord was inserting in to the placenta at a thin part towards the edge. I guess that isn't too good either. While he told me last time he wasn't thrilled with me taking baby aspirin, now he thinks it is a good idea in case there is clotting. He isn't too happy about the heparin, but he understands why I am hesitant to stop taking it.

He said he will use the doppler which will show if there are any issues before they become problems. I asked him what they would do if they found any issues. So then we talked about delivering early if they find complications and the associated risks of delivering early. Seems we really need to be shooting for 30 weeks at a minimum. The prognosis at 30 weeks is pretty good. I am 21w now, so I guess that isn't that far off. And that justs puts me in to a totally different panic. How the hell are we going to be ready by 30 weeks?

I also made the mistake of asking what is the worse thing that could happen. I thought he would talk to me about IUGR, but instead he mentioned stillbirth. Needless to say that evening was spent with much hysterical sobbing. Pregnancy has been surprisingly easy on me physically. It is the emotional part that has been hard.

I am horribly frightened of having a stillborn child. I am horribly frightened of having a retarded or premature child. I am frightened that all of this is preventing me from forming an attachment to FM. I know that a good deal of this has to do with the hormones making me emotional. I hope that I don't continue like this once he is here. Otherwise, I am not sure what kind of a mother I am going to make.

One thing is for sure, both Rus and I decided that he is going with me to the next prenatal visit.

There was some good news in all of this. According to his latest ultrasound, FM is now measuring perfectly on target - 8/30/2008. He seems to have caught up those four days he was initially measuring behind. Also, I had some blood work done and I am slightly anemic. I just started iron supplements and I am feeling a good deal better.