First Faddah's Day!

Greetings... guest blogger Rus here. So: Wyatt decided to start my first Father's Day at 3 a.m., but quickly backed off this decision once we were awake. Stephanie tracked his movements for the next three hours, when he decided to get up for real, while I slept. Best Father's Day Ever!

Wyatt got me a very fancy card with an embroidered frog on the front and a spiffy and shockingly accurate hand-drawn portrait of me by Mr. WAM himself. It would likely have been worth billions in thirty years, but he forgot to sign it. Stephanie and I disagree on which parts of the drawing are my face, legs, arms, hair, penis and headphones. It's very impressionistic.

Things that didn't fall out of the card when I opened it: iPhone 3G S, money, lapdance coupons, a pony, chicken fried steak, or a bullwhip. However, it should be noted that Wyatt’s gift didn't arrive in time, so 3-4 of the aforementioned items should be arriving in the next few days.

Stephanie took me to a champagne brunch at Jordan's, one of the swanky restaurants at the also-swanky Claremont Hotel. I was fairly excited about this, as their menu advertised a number of “Action Stations!” and I’m all about the Action! I got me some Prime Rib Action!, Waffle Action!, and Dim Sum Action!, along with non-Action! but still good artisan cheeses, apple smoked bacon, sausages, etc. Meanwhile, Wyatt flirted with the pretty lady at the next table, and eventually got her number. Stephanie thinks she overheard the lady mention she was involved in the film industry. That's m'boy!

We also each went back to assemble our Plates of Sin, including a yellow cake that Stephanie couldn’t identify after three bites. Most of it wasn’t worth the calories, but their Red Velvet cake was quite good. Wyatt didn’t think too much of his veggie plate, and left the orangy bits on my white shirt. After that, Steph and the boy crashed out at home (food coma) while I did some work on Brutal Legend, Jack Black’s rock-n-roll/hack-n-slash game, followed by a nice walk around the block. Wyatt’s been especially grumpy around sleep/wake times, but a little reading and a bit of bottle, and he went down pretty easily. It had been a busy day, after all.

We're currently finishing out the day with me proving my love for my wife by indulging her in her love of “True Blood,” easily one of the worst shows currently on television, on my day of homage. Good God, it’s horrible.

I'm going to lie and tell Wyatt every day is Father's Day. For the next twenty years.