Worried Part 3

I saw Suzie, Ramon and Dexter. Suzie and Ramon had lots of advice for us. The best part of all is that Suzie gave me all her maternity clothes to borrow! I don't have to stress about shopping so much. Unfortunately, her slacks are too short for me. I did wear them today anyway, but I looked pretty silly.

The bad news about the clothes is that today for some reason my Heparin injection site bleed all day. I had my last injection at 6:50am and I didn't stop bleeding until 7:30pm. Rus got so upset and worried he made me call the Kaiser advice nurse at 6:15pm. She basically told me to keep pressure on it and call back if it didn't stop in an hour. Luckily it stopped in about an hour. We almost got in a fight because I couldn't take him hovering over me and worrying so much. I am the worrier and he is supposed to snap me out of it. I know that's ridiculous and unfair.

It was not a good day and I am not in a good place. Earlier in the day I got a call from Dr. Coulam's office saying that my NK cells had elevated again. This time to 22.5, which is higher than they have ever been. I was told to do IVIg immediately. I am not sure how much more of this my heart can take. It is killing me to think my body is attacking my baby. I ended up having to go for a walk as I thought I was going to go in to a hysterical fit in the office.

After several calls I finally got the IVIg scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, since I am already taking the day off for the amnio, the timing worked out great. I am still not happy about having to do this, but at least I am getting it done as quickly as possible.

With this unanticipated new cost, we are re-thinking our vacation plans (i.e. take some time off and sit around the house).

The rest of the day was spent mostly worrying and listening to my co-worker (who is 18w) go on and on about strollers and day care and how I shouldn't wait to get on the waiting lists. Of course, with my earlier news I wasn't really in the mood to hear it. I kept thinking, all I care about is getting this baby to term - shut up about strollers already lady. But I just nodded my head and smiled. I just can't care about strollers, crib bedding, cribs, etc. right now. I have half a mind to ask someone to take the limited number of onesies I bought. I can't imagine something happening to the baby and having to see that stuff. (So if you have any thoughts of giving me any baby stuff please hold on to it for now.)

I also got a lecture on breastfeeding from someone else later in the day. Do I stand around slack-jawed with drool running down my cheek or something? Do I look like I don't know what breastfeeding is?

I told my boss about the situation because at first I wasn't sure when I would be doing the infusion and we have tons of meetings and a training coming up. I could tell she was getting really worried. Thankfully, she knows enough to avoid me so she won't make me more stressed out. She sometimes freaks out more than I do, but she had five miscarriages before having her son so she is just coming from a different place. She is really very cool.

Well, tomorrow during the amnio there will be an ultrasound so maybe that will let a little bit of the joy back in.